Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize