I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
