I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
