ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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