i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
