she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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