So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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