just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
