It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
