My room smells like vodka and shame
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
