I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
