trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
