Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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