I hate all girls vehemently.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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