Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
