STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
