dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
