Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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