I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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