I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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