I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
