the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
