you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I want her autograph on my taint
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
