Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
