I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
