It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize