Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
