Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
