Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
