is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
