I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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