Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
