can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
what day is it and did you see me today?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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