i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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