I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
