people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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