Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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