Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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