i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I believe in your delicious
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
