I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
