New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
