This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Let's get the cat blown out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
