I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
