i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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