Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
