rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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