I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
