i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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