how can u be prego again
At least make sure they are 18
Why
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
