yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
