remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
