sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
