I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize