i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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