you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
NoShamevember. You game?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
