I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
