Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just threw up on my dentist
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
