I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
