her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
