just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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