You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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