i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
