Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
