You really coming over, don't trick.
North Korea, Best Korea!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
