Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize