I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How does one acquire holy water?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
