Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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