hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
