I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
