New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
