did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
