pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize