does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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