does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
